“Was my best not good enough? Am I not good enough?”
“Why couldn’t I keep such a simple promise?”
“Why do I always forget?”
“Are you alright?”
“Do you like that me? Or me?”
“Why couldn’t I be just like that person?”
“This isn’t fair.”
“I tried so hard, so why—!”
“Don’t leave me behind.”
“I hate you!”
“I’m so stupid.”
He sighed, exasperated of the thoughts running through his head. Thoughts of despair and desperation. Thoughts of wanting to please, to be approved of, to be reassured with an, “It’s okay.” Thoughts of having committed the seven sins, of being a burden, and of losing yourself. And in the end, he smiled cruelly to himself. What have I become? he wondered, to have to depend on others for my happiness?
Yet, you see, at one point, humanity has an innate desire to be reassured and to posses camaraderie. To be accepted. To blame solely yourself or to blame only others but yourself. To be devoid of loneliness. So, in the end, we must just trudge through it all. To repair the problems and relationships that need to be fixed, to revive what was missed, and to let go of what was hindering the journey.
[hm, hm hmm! I don’t know. Just trying to pinpoint some common feelings that I’m sure people have all experienced. Whether with family, with the person you liked, with your career—whatever really. So, this piece is pretty much all over the place.]